September 14 1969—It is 37 years today!

Never once even remotely did I think, that I would undergo the kind of emotions I undergo these days for a person who when living never made me to even be aware of what I should have been. It has been almost a year. Of course I know that today is the 14th of September in 2006 and for this day to come from the 14th of September in 2005 the earth has to do a full circle which means a full whole year. But this heart of mine is not ready to accept that and thinks of this day last year as if it all just happened yesterday.

The phone call I made that day is still so fresh in my memory. The way she was so excited over a small gift that her husband, my dad, had given her. She sounded like a kid getting something the first time. It was such a small thing, for I did get to see it when I went home in November. But mind you, how much ever small it may be, it was a gift of gold. And this man really knew how to get into her heart. Oh how I wish I could turn back time. So many things have become so simple these days compared to what it used to be. Why is it taking so long for people to find how to go back in time?

There is still so much ask you, tell you, let you know how I feel about you and also learn how you really feel about me. Funny, I did not ever think that marriage could make you understand your mother so well. Is this some kind of a cheap trick that God wants to play on me for the tough times that I gave you? I never meant to be bad. I still sometimes cannot think of another way to react to certain situations that I reacted.

Makes me think yet again, if only I could turn back time I might try to do it different this time (I still am not sure if I would do it right – the right that you would define as right). But would sure try to get the message through you that with all the defects a person can have, I and we all love you amma and you would be missed acutely.

Hey, Mangamma Sabadam! Happy Anniversary Dee! So indha varusham enna thantha appa unakku?