Getting Nostalgic

I currently work for a company that has its own proprietary messaging tool, something like the yahoo messenger, where the smiley icons are way cooler than the ones we have on yahoo. But that’s besides the point. Most of my buddies at work have a cheeky/witty presence message (that’s what we call our status messages here) next to their display names on the messenger board.

One of my colleagues here today had this message:
Explain not...Friends don't expect it and enemies won't believe it. -- Old Irish Proverb

That made me smile and get nostalgic. How many times have we come across friends to whom we need to explain why we did something some way? And no matter how much we try to explain something there are people who never accept it. Ironically right now I am in that mode of not accepting an explanation that a ‘someone’ gave me recently. I am digressing again. That is a different story all together to which I should dedicate a post by itself. This one is about friends and how they do not expect any explanation from us.

Over the weekend, I had some time to talk to a friend of mine, whom I invariably never call as much as I would like to call. What with all these oceans between us, we don’t get to meet as much as we would like to meet each other. We are not the kind that can exchange long e-mails either. So it’s just that we end up being happy with those few moments that we try and steal from our lives occasionally to catch up over the phone.

With the world shrinking and with so much of new gadgets to keep in touch with people, it’s getting increasingly difficult to have a good conversation. During my school and college days before the cell phones and e-mails made their entry, chatting with my friends used to be over a cup of coffee and some junk food. Life used to be more cozy and warm without all these gadgets then. Now with each of us having a cell phone and an e-mail account, all we end up doing is exchange a cryptic sms message once a while. How I miss all those frivolous talks.

In my case, we had a terrace around which our whole lives revolved. Most of the evenings the terrace was our haven. We were a bunch of school kids that consisted of some 9 fixed members and some 10 odd people chipping in every now and then. Of the 9, 4 were guys and 5 were gals. And like every gang, there were groups within the gang. This gang of 9 was made up of kids that belonged to different age groups; the youngest, a boy, was in his 2nd grade and the eldest, a girl, was in her 12th grade.

The friend to whom I made my weekend call after a long time is one among this gang. When we start talking both of us never feel like it had been so many weeks or months since we have spoken to each other. We just pick it up where we left, and we pick it up like we had left it just yesterday, and just go on and on. It had never mattered when we spoke last, be it 6 days earlier, or 6 weeks earlier, or even 6 months earlier.

There has been a time when we hadn’t spoken to each other for more than a year. Both of us (I especially had been the culprit--had been too busy with my life) that I even forgot to go and invite my friend for my wedding. Trust me, this friend does not need an invitation. But at the very least should know where it is happening and the date. The useless me, hadn’t called and even when called did not have time to talk in a detailed fashion. And eventually realized what I had done, a day before wedding.

Frantic calls were made and realized the numbers had changed. Worst is yet to come, I still do not give up and try to hunt this friend of mine for dear life feeling really miserable and catch hold somehow to realize that my friend was out of town on business. But did my friend feel bad? Must have, but did not tell me that day. Did my friend ask for an explanation? No, so much so, I wasn’t even aware that my friend was not in town until much after the wedding when I asked my brother how come I did not see this friend during any of the functions.

When I had spoken earlier, my friend did not want to upset me and enquired all about how things were going and in the end said, ‘No problem, will be there, go ahead give the phone to your brother so that I can ask him the directions.’ I gave the phone to my brother and with that forget all about my friend again. It was my brother who was updated on the out-of-town-on-business status that I came to know of later, which I had not bothered again to enquire in the wedding frenzy.

Then there was this instance, when I called on my friend’s birthday after nearly 13-14 months; both of us had missed the previous ones; this friend did not have my contacts updated, for I had not given; and the minute my voice is heard, my friend goes, ‘WOW, how have you been? Tell me all that has happened, so how is married life treating you, how is your brother .. etc., etc., how is life treating you?’ and so on and so forth. Now tell me, am I not blessed to have a person like that for a friend. Not one word of me not calling. And to top it all, my friend ends that call saying, ‘It’s been a long time since I had been on phone this long, and it still feels like we just started our conversation.’ We had spoken for more than an hour :)

Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve such a friend. But then, there are times that make me thank who ever that’s up there, for having given me such people in life. There are a couple of friends like this friend of mine whom I treasure and who are always there for me no matter what not expecting any explanations—just letting me be. Then there are people to whom no amount of explanations can suffice. That whole gang from terrace were friends who never needed any explanations. And when the other one did not explain we just understood. Could it be because we all grew up together and we knew each other so well that there was no need for explanations?

One of them called me after some 5 years and said the most sweetest thing I ever heard in my life. ‘All I wanted was to hear was your voice and know that you and your family are doing well. I am doing well and so is everyone else here in my family.’ There had been so many reasons that this friend was out of touch. I was in constant touch with my friend’s family and knew how my friend was doing.

I many times wonder what my world would be if not for friends like them. Primary reason why I would like to turn back time. :-) Would love to go back and live that time again, with my granny and mom in the house, and me, my brother and my dad in the terrace where our whole world then was. If only I could turn back time... If only I could...

Update on NOV-26-2007: Its that friend's birthday today. I had a happy long chat :) Happy Birthday my friend! Have an awesome year ahead!