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Friday, December 15, 2006

should I blog under an assumed identity?

I came across some posts where people seem to have either an issue of identity crisis or an issue with anonymous comments. It was this exchange between Premalatha and myself that propelled me to write this post.

Although there a lot of common ground issues in both of these posts, they are essentially two different things all together.

Scenario One: The writer is an anonymous writer who chooses not to divulge his/her true identity but assumes another one and maintains both of them seperately. S/he writes under a pseudonym.

Are we really anonymous when we decide to retain a particular pseudonym? I do not think so for in this case it’s just that the author happens to have an assumed name. S/he is not anonymous. So as in the case of The Visitor, s/he is not anonymous. Just uses another pseudonym and is not known in his/her real identity to the real world. I see a lot of uses in this.

  1. There is no information about me in the net…WOW I am non-traceable
  2. I can reveal what I want to and how much I want to through my posts
  3. As the visitor says, there is no baggage information attached with the post for the reader to presume a stand in the first place.
  4. Enables the author to express more freely
  5. The created anonymity helps when trying to express opinions on topics that are bound to create ripples.

I would not be judged when I voice it out, for the reader does not have any baggage information about me. I many times wonder if I should do that myself—write under a pseudonym. Would like to try out and see if that helps me to express myself better.

There are so many different things that bind each one of us from voicing ourselves exactly how we feel and be as honest as we would want ourselves to be. Most of us would never go to discussing controversial topics just because, we might end up hurting someone or end up losing a friend and so on and so forth. But there are times when there is confusion as to who you really are for yourself, when using a pseudonym. You have one that is your virtual identity and another one which is that of your real life. They both are bound to cross boundaries after a period of time. It depends on how much can you handle. As long as you are happy and comfortable I guess it should work.

Look at me yakking away.. but I am unable to decide for myself if I want a virtual identity I am not sure.. may be... not yet.. but then, my blog is hardly visited so its easy for me retain my personality for blogging or is it that I am shying off controversial topics, honestly no answer yet…

Scenario Two: The one who leaves comments in the page of the original writer is anonymous who chooses not to divulge his identity (any, be it real life or virtual) but assumes ‘a holier than thou’ moral stand and passes a judgment.

In this scenario, as long as the commenter agrees with the writer, there is no issue. Its only when s/he ends up putting a comment, and not divulging his/her identity that all hell breaks loose. You know what happens in this case—it could actually be one the writes known people who are scared to come up with open comments on the work and they have to voice their opinion but be invisible about it. I say, I wouldn’t like that either. But then, again, excepting deleting unwanted comment, we cannot do much about it.

Its like, the shop is open, and so we do not have a choice in the kind of people who come to shop. We can, may be refrain from selling from some people. But, even that is illegal in the real terms of doing it. This scenario is close to a helpless scenario if the comment is for one of our rants. As it is we have had a tough time and are upset about something and we are just using our notice board to express why we dislike it. Not enough of that, someone has to give a contradicting opinion and above all not leave a name for us to give them a reply. How are we to know that that anonymous person visited the page again and read our reply? ARGH! How very irritating. These commentators are the cowards. They are scared to have their name associated with their names. But there are some positive commentators out there who would like to remain anonymous too. They just choose not to have a face. I cannot say that they are cowards. But still there is some amount of cowardice in that too.

Whatever, in both scenarios the author wants not to be identified. But I somehow approve of the earlier case and not the latter. But then, again, as I had said in my comment on Premalatha’s post, I most of the times am the passive kind. I some how hate confrontations. I shy away from it. I know I am not being honest in the process but I cannot do the sweet talk either. The people I confront are the ones I love and I care about. So most of the times when they do not hear my opinion it is because, I don’t want to give a disagreeing remark to someone (about something), who cannot handle that remark and start an argument. When actually, I wouldn’t be interested in even letting them know what I think. For that’s the taste such arguments let me be with at the end of it all. Not worth it.

Been there, lost a few friends and learnt from it all. I don’t care much these days except for the few chosen ones who can tolerate me and accept me as I am. They were meant to go one day or the other, its just that this was the cause they chose. They weren’t comfortable with us 100% right from day one. That’s how I look at it. End of it all, its my happiness that’s in question and I want to be happy. If being associated with such creeps is going to destroy my happy self, seriously, is it worth the effort? I guess the same can be applied to the community of blogging world.

Here you have 3 kinds of visitors.

  1. The ones who leave a comment and their names.
  2. The ones that leave a comment but not their names.
  3. The passive kind (kinds like me, who visit a lot of blogs but never bother commenting).

Its for the latter two that we try to make friends or, it would sometimes be like our real life friends visit our blogs and put in comments there. Some of our ravings and rantings would eventually make them get angry or upset for they would have been in someway responsible for that particular rant and would disagree and have a major outbreak with us. Honestly, is all this really worth the effort. Why do we need to care in the first place?

My passive attitude—let me learn from all the constructive criticism that I get and ignore the destructive ones.

During the holiday times all that I have to convey blogging community is be happy and continue to blog. That gives you solace so enjoy it totally and ignore anything that comes in the way of your enjoyment. Believe blindly that they do not exist and just enjoy the bliss of blogging.

10 comments:

Premalatha said...

read this sometime

Premalatha said...

I confront too much and all the time Vidya. I am trying to stop doing it. showing the finger comes easy for me than keeping my mouth shut. :)

Premalatha said...

@Vidya,
see here

Vidya said...

Read that post. Looks like she was not happy handling both her personalities and decided to take a break or said a good bye, I don’t think she herself is sure about it :) whatever, happens many times in life. Haven’t we stayed away from a bunch of friends just because we have had it enough? She really expresses very well. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Being passive comes natural to some, but has to be cultivated for some. I belong to the second category. Also, to put it in Jay's words, it opens another can of worms. But what I usually do is just stay away from the whole crowd, and in the process sometimes, even lose the people whom I like among them, but then I don’t care. For if they really did like my company would reach out for me. That has been my attitude.

I sometimes even appear as a recluse. So doesn’t matter much. I have a select few who of course do not live in the city that I live, with whom I get along really well and am happy with just them. The others, if I have to interact, I just keep my mouth shut. All I do is keep smiling. And once out of their sight, I totally shut them out. Just do not bother to get in touch again and sometimes even refrain from returning calls or replying mails. I meet them again only when there is no other alternative and I have to meet them at some common ground. I keep telling myself, allowing to get angry is allowing them to know they can trigger an emotion in me and they do not deserve it. Works for me :)

Thanks Premalatha :)

Premalatha said...

gilli is a place where you can get to know more blogs and is a place where you get to be noticed. i hope you didn't me recommending your site there.

read madura's posts on sex education. they are very nice, very brave.

madura has a tamil site too. http://tamizhachchikal.blogspot.com/ read it when you have time.

I am eating and typing using left hand (only), so will comment more later. :)

Premalatha said...

//I keep telling myself, allowing to get angry is allowing them to know they can trigger an emotion in me and they do not deserve it.//

absolutely.
Thanks.

JugHead said...

This is a pretty detailed and deep analysis of a simple issue :)

I blog anonymously (without divulging my real identity) because I want to avoid the (unplesant) social consequences of my family/friends/coworkers coming to know of my deep inner thoughts (which may be wild, devilish, politically incorrect, sexual/erotic, unpleasant to others, self-deprecating etc etc)

Vidya said...

@ tintin--I agree totally to what you say. In my case, I chose just to give out my name, but at times do think, why did i do it. And sometimes do think, I should start something else, where I can just be.. without any qualms.. if you know what I mean.

This post was actually in reply to some of Prema's posts and rants. Started as a comment and ended up a long winding post :)

JugHead said...

Yes exactly. Freedom from fear enables us to be ourselves.

Btw, since you havent wrote anything for more than a month I'd guess you are getting bored by blogging.

Vidya said...

I sort of have so many things being jammed into my head at the moment that I am unable to put them in words. More than being bored, I sort of dont want to share some of my thoughts in this blog.

Again, the question of identity. :-)

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Happiness is a state of mind. It's not dictated by outward circumstances -- really. Learning to see a situation as it is, not as you hoped or feared it would be, is one of the keys to being content. -- Unknown
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